Dipen's Story for Mental Health Awareness Week

How did you feel after receiving your diagnosis?

I was relieved after I received my diagnosis as it took almost 6 months to be diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. At first I was incredibly concerned when I was told by a gastroenterologist that I either had cancer or something called IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease). So initially, I found myself at a high point as I thought at least it's not cancer and I can move on with my life. Sadly it did not take long for the lows to hit, within a week I was in the midst of my first major flare up, an experience I eventually learned to live with/through.

Can you describe your experience with mental health and your condition?

I was always on edge prior to having surgery. Every time I went out, I would go to the toilet to make sure I wouldn't need to go on my journey or whilst out (hopefully). Even when I was out of the house, I was always thinking about: 

- Where the nearest toilet is

- The best way to get to the toilets on the journey home or to my destination 

- What time I should be home by 

I would say the condition was controlling my way of living and my quality of life was affected. With having so may flare ups, it was a constant battle to stay fit and healthy, as I would lose a large amount of weight during a flare and then unhealthily put this back on whilst trying to regain some form of fitness.

I was tired of living the same cycle for 4-5 years and wanted change - which came in the form of my stoma bag - 'Mike'.

What do you wish people were more aware of when it comes to IBD and mental health?

I wish people knew that with most invisible illnesses, just because one day I am able to do normal day-to-day tasks, it does not mean I am always at the same energy level, or have the capabilities to achieve what I may have done previously. Also being told the pain 'cannot be that bad' when the pain of the condition on my body and mind is only something that I can experience and live through.

What advice would you give to someone who's in a similar position to you, and struggling with their mental health?

Talk to a family member, friend or confidant, someone who you feel safe to open up with. 

What do you find helps on those particularly bad days?

As I mentioned above, talking to family and friends really helps me. Isolating yourself sometimes feels like the easier option, but it can make you feel like you have to do this on your own, when you don't. There are people out there who want to help. I also often find simple things such as listening to my favourite music and reminiscing on better times helps me tremendously. Especially when you're in a bad flare up, reflecting on better times helps you to realise it isn't going to last forever.