Finding my community of LGBTQ+ people with Crohn's or Colitis

I had never heard of this condition so, after I got my diagnosis, I turned to the internet. I found the Crohn’s & Colitis UK website, Instagram hashtags, and YouTube videos and after a hellish night on a hospital ward I felt less alone. I started to interact with people, reaching out to them in the comments sections and private messages. Soon, I was surrounded by people who understood me and what I was going through.

But making new friends didn’t come without anxiety. I was used to being surrounded by other LGBTQ+ folk and I was naturally accepted by the queer community as a non-binary lesbian. I had no idea if those in the online IBD community would be as accepting. There was nothing to suggest that they wouldn’t be, but I’d faced homophobia before in settings not specifically created for LGBTQ+ people.

I knew that, even in 2018, some people didn’t understand queerness and either supported only subsections of the community or didn’t support it at all.

I no longer felt like a woman but had no idea what to do about it, especially as I still partially identified with ‘she’ pronouns. At the time, using mixed pronouns (such as she/they, as I did) was uncommon and not talked about. It’s still not fully understood but is a lot more common now, as more and more people have considered the fluidity of gender.

Alternatively, the idea of introducing myself with gender neutral pronouns was scary, especially because I couldn’t put my identity into cohesive words – I didn’t yet fully understand it myself.

But luckily this soon came around, in pride month. June is commonly recognised as pride month and a time for people to step up, speak out, and show their pride. People who would usually speak about chronic illness alone would come out on their platforms and create pride content.

This is another reason that the new pronoun feature on Instagram is so important, as LGBTQ+ people can feel truly seen and allow inherent queer bonding in the community. Again, this also shows our allies by normalising pronouns on their platform.

I cannot say that I’ve ever met anyone who has directly related to my experience in full, but I have met lesbians with Crohn’s and Colitis, and I’ve met non-binary folk with Crohn’s and Colitis. Never both, although I’m sure there are other people out there.

Seeing an overlap in the queer community and the Crohn’s and Colitis community is incredibly important to me because we have to keep these issues intersectional. We have to make sure people understanding how these two identities affect one another. It’s also incredibly important for awareness as it allows those from both communities to speak out, get a further reach, and achieve awareness on the relevant issues.

As with Crohn’s and Colitis spaces, I have never met someone who fully understands my story – some acquaintances I’ve found to be understanding of chronic illnesses have been homophobic and vice versa. It’s disheartening in your life to find out that those you trusted do not support you or your journey in life. I cannot take away my Ulcerative Colitis, nor can I eradicate my queerness. And it’s important not to keep these identities separate.

Firstly, these both put me in marginalised groups and it’s important to speak out about these. Secondly, because they are both parts of me. They are a part of my core being and cannot be erased or eliminated. I do luckily have people in my life who are supportive of both, but sometimes supportive is all they can be, as wonderful as that is still. Unfortunately, support does not mean understanding.

That’s why the Crohn’s and Colitis community is so important to me, especially those of the LGBTQ+ intersection. The community I have found online has been an absolute blessing, and I cannot thank the other members of the community enough for their endless support and for making me feel less alone as a queer and disabled person.

What I wish for this pride month is that the Crohn’s and Colitis community does research and, importantly, supports LGBTQ+ Crohn’s and Colitis creators whilst they speak out about pride!