How it feels – navigating the festive season with Colitis

Isabelle is 32 and a doctor, but she also lives with Colitis. She was diagnosed in her twenties, and has noticed a pattern surrounding feeling more unwell both physically and emotionally, during the festive season. As the season is upon us, she reflects on how it really feels to live with Colitis during a time when you're often expected to indulge, be merry and be sociable. 

The festive season has never been an easy time for me. Over the years, I notice the same pattern. December and January arrive, and I start to feel more physically unwell. Alongside that, my mental health takes a hit, and my overall wellbeing slowly begins to unravel. My IBD consultant told me that my inflammation markers for the past few festive seasons have been higher than at any other time. It took me a long time to realise that Christmas itself may be a big part of why! 

At this time of year, everything feels amplified. There’s an unspoken expectation to be chatty and cheerful, upbeat and to eat and drink in ways you might not normally choose to. For me, that often means alcohol and rich foods. I’m fortunate enough to be able to indulge in them, yet I know that for me - they frequently worsen my symptoms. The pressure to join in fully and to be merry is huge, while Colitis works quietly in the background, chipping away at my self-esteem, undermining my confidence, and gradually stealing my sense of control over my own body.

Working as a doctor, my role is to care for others, to be dependable and resilient. When my illness forces me to step away from work, it also brings a difficult reversal, from caregiver to patient, which comes with a host of difficult emotions.

Then comes the New Year. With it arrives the familiar chorus of “new year, new me,” as people begin setting goals and planning how they’ll improve themselves. But for those of us living with chronic illness, the narrative is very different. Our only real hope for the year ahead is health. It can feel overwhelming to hear so many people reach for goals that you worry you might never be able to achieve living with a chronic illness. 

But, there is hope. I have a lot be grateful for and this festive season I’m focusing on the small wins. I would say to anyone else struggling with the pressure over the next few weeks, it isn’t selfish to go at your own pace. Chronic illnesses like Crohn’s or Colitis are invisible, and you’re the only one that knows how it really feels. So, listen to your body, enjoy the parts you choose to be involved in, and never forget that you are not alone!